Missing You

I miss your hair, its swinging gloss
Surrounding your ever expressive face.
I miss your eyes, how they glow with your laughter and strength,
Shining with your hair, colours matched, smiling.

I've missed the way you cared for me, needing to make me happy,
Always caring, even I think, when anger made you forget.

I miss looking after you, being there for you,
Listening to your worries and fears,
Your pain and heartache.

I felt so much pain for you when you were confused,
Your anger hurt you, your loyalties so painful.

You had to make a choice, I didn't beg,
Only in my heart and soul; you never knew.

January 1999

Soggy Trimmings

The big problem as Christmas approaches and you live on a boat, isn't finding a Christmas tree to fit or paper chains that don't go all gooey in the damp atmosphere. It's getting pressies that fit into jiffy bags and calculating the last posting dates to all sorts of weird and wonderful places.


I have many good friends who cruise and liveaboard like myself and they come from all over the planet. So, in order to get the parcel to the friend by Christmas, you have to work out roughly where they are, then the last posting dates from their home country, then the last posting date from the country you are currently visiting to their home country, plus time for an elderly relative to post the jiffy bags, en masse, to their little darling who could have moved on in the meantime. All in time for Christmas.


It's no wonder more and more cruising yachts whose flares are out of date and who live on dried food, prioritise the purchase of a laptop computer, not for state of the art navigation, but to get the Christmas pressies delivered on time.


Therefore it's not surprising that very few of us actually receive anything !


My Christmas parcel from my parents always arrives in September with the usual note attached,


"Hope you get this in time...... posted it in June..... would help if you let us know where you are going before you get there.... we do worry you know...... Father thought you might like this.... some useful tips in it he said..... let us know if you got the parcel ok......"


And I hadn't left Ireland yet.


That particular parcel contained a copy of 'The Perfect Storm' and a phone card, (they live in the UK so they still wouldn't know where I'm going before I do - the card was English).


I'm still working the 'tips' out.


Christmas can also be lonely.


If you haven't been in one spot very long, then you don't know anybody, so you don't get invited to socials, drinks, parties, or even (if you are really lucky) Christmas Dinner.


My first year cruising was just like that. I was in the harbour of a large seaside town and I knew nobody. I cooked Christmas dinner on a two ring gas burner and ate fried chicken breast, packet mashed potato, onions, tinned carrots, fresh brussels sprouts (a treat because they are my favourite) and instant gravy. I ate a whole packet of chocolate digestives, felt sick, felt very sorry for myself, led down in front of the TV and fell asleep. I woke up at about six, had forgot it was Christmas and simply carried on as usual.


So when New Year's Eve came around and I still knew nobody I began to make plans for the evening.


A quick drink at the bar opposite the marina, rent a video, get a takeaway, watch the film with headphones (so as not to hear everybody else having a good time), and draw the curtains for the night.


But the best laid plans never work.


At about eleven o'clock, with the film nearly finished, I heard male voices talking on the pontoon next to me.


"I know she's in there, the lights on."


"What if she's asleep, she might be a recluse or a hermit or sum'it. She might get violent!"


"No, she ain't got a beard."


"You knock then, I'm not."


So I opened the hatch and stuck my head out.


"There see, she's awake" and then very formal like,


"The missus sent us to ask if you would care to come over 'an join us. 'aving a bit of a thing we are."


All three faces looked at me. They were genuine and I hadn't the heart to refuse after listening to their conversation. I was still fairly new to cruising and hadn't got used to the way people assume you're somehow different, strange maybe, to be living on the sea, and a woman on her own at that.


I went with them across the road and had one of my most memorable New Year's Eves ever. The house was packed with friends, relatives and what seemed like hundreds of children, with everyone dancing and drinking and talking, all at once.


-


When I woke up the next morning, there sat on the galley table was a blonde wig! I have no idea where it came from.


I carried it around for many years, until recently a friend borrowed it for a fancy dress party. It suited him so well I told him to keep it. You'd think I'd given him eternal life he was so pleased. Interesting how things move around...


So I'm back to giving again.


Maybe this year I should have bought a few more jiffy bags and had fun filling them, calculating the days to here and there and finding the last dates to Tibet etc... then again maybe not.


My head hurts already.